By Mike Owens

Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.

– Anton Chekhov

Writing is like painting; with each brush stroke, a fuller, more vibrant image comes into focus. As a painter chooses the appropriate colors, so writers pay particular care to the choice of words used and how they blend them together to create a word-picture.

As Anton Chekhov states, we can’t assume that readers will imagine the scene; we have to build the scene in their minds. Would an artist prefer to describe the painting in words, or show its beauty in person?

Unfortunately many new authors, especially fiction authors, tend to tell the reader Jim ate a bowl of cereal, walked to the park, had a good day at work, and went to sleep.

The reader needs to be in the scene; the reader must feel the emotions Jim feels when he goes to the park and sees children playing. The reader needs to feel the cool, fall breeze ruffling her hair.

Here are a few examples of how to change sentences that tell to ones that show:

Tell

• Jack was tall and strong.

Show:

• Margaret gawked as Jack hoisted Michael’s dead weight from the tree limb two feet above Jack’s head.

Tell:

• Artemus was never outgoing and didn’t have many friends.

Show:

• “Do you want to be friends?” Frank asked. Artemus stopped in his tracks. Friends? He didn’t need any friends.

Don’t tell the reader about someone; instead, let their appearance and their character emerge naturally in a scene or through dialogue. Unfold your characters and back story through the plot and the interactions of the characters.

Mike Owens is a Solutions Advisor for the WinePress Group. He specializes in helping authors decide the best method of publishing their book.